I swore I would not get caught up. And yet there I was filling out applications, taking tours, interviewing and writing essays (!) in order to apply for preschools for my 10 month old baby – which was a late start by the way.
So, how could I have let myself get so suckered in? First of all, every parent wants the best for their child and putting in the effort was far better than the guilt. Second, Kindergarten is no longer the ‘maybe learn to write your name while hoping you don’t pee your pants’ carefree class that I once knew. Nowadays, children are expected to know how to obey the rules, be accustomed to them and be ready to get to work. There’s homework now, too, I might exasperatingly add! Personally, I condone the days of yore where choosing between blue and red paint was the most pressure put on a kid, but it’s just not the reality. If a child has had no formal practice of listening to teachers and following some sort of order, they will not be ready. My fear from there is the overriding threat to my child’s self esteem when they’re not as up to speed as their peers or being put in the less than stellar group forever labeling them as “behind� and needing special assistance all because I didn’t put in the effort to find the best match to properly prepare them. Neurotic? Absolutely! But thousands and thousands of waiting lists prove I’m not alone.
All of which leads to the outrageous costs of a “good� school. Ten (yes, ten! But in my defense five in Los Angeles and five in San Diego after we relocated) preschool tours later, I can tell you there is a remarkable difference in a good school and one with a less worthy reputation. And, remember, I myself was originally a skeptic! There’s the drop your kid off neglect school versus the 5 students to 1 teacher ratio nurturing and developmental schools. In other words, you get what you pay for. Costs can get astronomical, but average $500 a month for three, half days a week. If both parents work full time and depend on other means for childcare, you generally still have another 31 hours to pay for!
To add to it, there’s a reason why a school became so fabulously recommended: they had the money to provide for their amazing program and child development educated staff. Believe it or not, these costs go beyond the higher than you’d expect to pay for finger painting tuition, but depend on additional donations. In fact, you just might find yourself bidding on your own child’s artwork! To top it off, you might be asked to help raise funds outside of your own donations which involves your time. As a freelance writer, time really is money.
The knock on my bank account door has been loud and clear (and answered) and I have to admit, we’ve gotten what my husband and I have paid for. Our son is enrolled in an amazing toddler program that includes weekly parent education and our daughter attends the preschool program, which also includes guest speaker educational nights for parents. Both kids can’t wait to get to their school and they’ve brought the values I admired when touring this particular one home with them. In other words, it’s been a tug to the purse strings, but I’m actually not complaining.
Check out some Geezeo groups that focus on kids and family finances: Financially Frugal Families and Wanting to Adopt.
February 26th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
I was thinking about this recently, even though I don’t yet have children. I was interviewing applicants to my university, and the pressure they’re under is so much worse than when I was applying just 10 years ago.
Here’s the philosophy my parents had (my mom teaches at one of those good but expensive private pre-schools): Spend the money on the very early education _ nursery school, pre-school, kindergarten, sometimes even first grade _ so the child gets the best possible base. Then look at your other more affordable options: public school, Catholic schools, etc. If none of those options fit or work out for your child, then go back to the expensive private schools. But the most important time to spend the money is when they’re very young sponges, so they learn to love to learn.