Only Suze Orman could talk about two topics as sensitive as Women and Money so honestly and accurately. In her eighth book, Women and Money, Suze uncovers the mysterious stumbling blocks that so many women face when it comes to their finances, “It doesn’t matter if I am in a room full of business executives or stay-at-home moms, I find the core problem to be universal: When it comes to making decisions with money, you refuse to own your power, to act in your best interest.”

Women are typically the givers of the world: they are always putting others before themselves, nurturing their families, and sacrificing for others. Suze is NOT suggesting women replace “nurturer with narcissist.” She says, “I simply want you to give TO yourself as much as you give OF yourself. By taking care of yourself financially, you will truly be able to take care of those you love.” She asks why women don’t show their money the same attention they show every other relationship in their lives and claims it is because women have a dysfunctional relationship with money.

It is this dysfunctional relationship that has intrigued me personally to start a business to help educate women about their finances. My belief is that it is not intelligence or information that women lack, it is a mental “block” that is holding women back. Suze points out that so many women feel they must be all things to all people, “mother, wife, dutiful daughter, supportive friend, school volunteer, cheerleader at home and at work.” With the demands of life, it’s easy to keep denying the importance of learning new things that may be uncomfortable or hard to face. It is much easier to deny that money exists, say you are just “too busy” or blame others for your financial shortcomings.

My favorite chapter of Women and Money is called “The 8 Qualities of a Wealthy Woman.” I like it because it sheds light on what many women are not doing and clarifies how changing our thoughts and behaviors will improve our relationship with money.

For example, numbers 1 and 2 are harmony and balance. When you are in harmony, what you think, say and do are aligned. How many women do you know who say, “Oh I’m fine!” or “Ok daughter, you can have that new ___” even when they don’t feel that way or can’t afford it. That leads us to quality 3: courage. Courage gives you the ability to make sure your thoughts, feelings, and actions are aligned. So many women fear that if they say no, they may hurt someone else or not be loved as much. Suze points out, “It’s so much easier to hurt yourself than to hurt someone else, isn’t it?” When you think logically about that statement it is so true, yet women do it several times a day.

I believe that courage is important because it allows women to set boundaries with quality number 4: generosity. Women are known for being too generous with their time, support, love and money. Suze points out that the act of generosity must benefit the giver as much as the receiver, or it is not true generosity.

Quality 5 and 6 are happiness and wisdom. Quality 7 is cleanliness, which is really just another word for organization. And lastly, number 8 is beauty, which is a combination of the other 7 qualities.

Notice I haven’t gone into any detail about the technical side of money in my review. Suze Orman and I could sit here all day and tell you about the importance of saving, investing, and organizing your finances but if you don’t have a relationship with money first, you will never stick to making good decisions with your money. Just like losing weight, we have to get to the bottom of what is really causing that “stumbling block” in order to conquer it.